Are You Helping or Hurting? How over-nurturing affects young athletes

At SPMI, we don’t only work with athletes, we also work with parents. Parents play an essential role in a young athlete’s development making discoveries about what improvements can be made has helped young athletes not only achieve their goals but live more meaningful and happier lives. One of the struggles that we often come across is the over-nurturing trap. As parents, we all want to protect our children. When it comes to raising athletes, it’s only natural to step in, cheer loudly, and smooth out the road ahead. But there’s a fine line between supporting your child and over-nurturing them—and crossing that line can have serious consequences for their development, both on and off the field.

In this blog, I’ll break down what over-nurturing looks like, how it impacts athletic performance and mental well-being, and what you can do instead to set your child up for long-term success.

What Does Over-Nurturing Look Like in Sports?

Over-nurturing goes beyond being involved or encouraging. It often includes:

• Stepping in to resolve every issue with coaches or teammates
• Over-scheduling training or micromanaging routines
• Making excuses for poor performance
• Shielding your child from discomfort or failure

While this might seem helpful, it actually prevents your child from learning resilience, independence, and mental toughness—all essential traits for success in sports and in life.

Why It’s a Problem for Young Athletes

Over-nurtured athletes often:

1.   Struggle with Pressure: They’re less equipped to handle game-day stress because they haven’t built coping skills.

2.   Depend on Others: Instead of making decisions independently, they look to parents for guidance on every move.

3.   Lose Motivation: External control can smother the internal drive and passion they once had for the sport.

4.   Miss Out on Growth: Failure is a great teacher. Without it, growth is stunted.

What About Under-Nurturing?

Of course, the other extreme is just as damaging. Children who are under-nurtured may feel emotionally unsupported, struggle with self-worth, or lack guidance altogether. The goal isn’t to withdraw support—it’s to find the middle ground.

Three Powerful Parenting Shifts to Try

1.   Promote Independence Instead of solving problems for them, ask: "What do you think you can do next time?" Help them reflect and take ownership.

2.   Support, Don’t Save Be present. Listen. Encourage. But resist the urge to rescue. Let mistakes be a natural and valuable part of learning.

3.   Focus on Growth, Not Perfection Celebrate effort, discipline, and small wins. Help your child see that success is about progress, not just performance.

Final Thoughts

There’s no question that every parent wants what’s best for their athlete. But the best support isn’t always protection. It’s trust. Trust in their ability to learn, adapt, and grow stronger from challenges.

By shifting your role from fixer to guide, you’re not just raising a better athlete. You’re raising a stronger, more resilient person.

Need Help Navigating the Journey? Contact us today or go to the contact page to schedule your free 15-minute call. During the call we will discuss the current struggle, goals, and anything else that needs to be addressed as well as discuss how SPMI can resolve and strengthen those areas and more!